Do You Love Yourself Enough?

Melissa Deally: 00:00:07

Imagine getting up every day full of energy is

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if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be like?

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What would that be worth to

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you? What is your health worth to you? Think about it. Your

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health isn't everything. But without it, everything else is

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nothing. And yet too many of us are taking it for granted until

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something goes wrong. No one wakes up hoping to be diagnosed

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with a disease or chronic illness. And yet, we've never

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been taught how to be proactive in our health through our school

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system, or public health. As a registered health coach and

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integrative health practitioner, I believe it is time this

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information is made available to everyone. Combining new

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knowledge around your health and the ability to do my functional

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medicine lab tests in the comfort of your own home will

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allow you to optimize your health for today and all your

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tomorrow's don't wait for your wakeup call

Melissa Deally: 00:01:07

Welcome back to the don't wait for your wake up call podcast. I

Melissa Deally: 00:01:10

am Melissa. dealey your host and so happy you are joining us here

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today. Today I have another wonderful guest with me loose

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compania welcome Luce. so wonderful to have you.

Luce Campagna: 00:01:22

Thank you so much for having me, Melissa.

Melissa Deally: 00:01:25

I'm excited to have you and this where this

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podcast is coming out in February, the month of love, and

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it's so perfect to have you here talking on that topic. So just

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to introduce you a little bit. Luce is a leadership and life

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coach based in Vancouver, BC, she is available to coach

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clients from anywhere via zoom in English or French, with a

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background in business management loose has been

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coaching teams for over two decades, she joined the coactive

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Institute in 2020, eager to gain additional skills and enable her

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teams to access their full potential. Gradually, her focus

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shifted toward individual coaching. And she launched her

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own practice in the spring of 2021, as a coach loose brings

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the latest tools along with a blend of emotional intelligence,

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his insight and life experience to build a unique partnership

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with each client. So that's a little bit of an introduction to

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loose but loose, I really want you to share who you are, and

Melissa Deally: 00:02:25

how you came to be in this line of work?

Unknown: 00:02:28

Well, um, so I've been a business manager in the field

Unknown: 00:02:34

of retail for about 20 years. So I work with people a lot. So

Unknown: 00:02:38

leadership is my jam, I work with people, I'm a connector,

Unknown: 00:02:42

I'm a connector, and I'm a teacher. And and I just love to

Unknown: 00:02:46

connect with people. And then with time, you know, coming

Unknown: 00:02:49

through, you know, challenges and leadership, I got to get

Unknown: 00:02:54

really curious about how people work, what makes them tick. And

Unknown: 00:02:58

then, you know, started reading books and doing seminars and

Unknown: 00:03:01

different things. And I got increasingly more curious and

Unknown: 00:03:04

wanting to get additional skills. And that's where

Unknown: 00:03:06

coaching found me or I found coaching. And that's how things

Unknown: 00:03:11

have shifted. And I think that makes me a much better leader as

Unknown: 00:03:14

well.

Melissa Deally: 00:03:16

Absolutely. And so there is always that bit of a

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journey that gets us to where we are right. And it's also a never

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ending ending journey where you're at today is gonna run

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another year from now, right? And when we're open, open to

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that learning, then we continue to grow. So I love that. And

Melissa Deally: 00:03:34

just on that note, do you have a specific niche in your coaching

Melissa Deally: 00:03:40

that you focus on?

Unknown: 00:03:41

Yeah, I tend so far in my practice, I tend to coach

Unknown: 00:03:44

people in midlife or in transitions of soar. And they're

Unknown: 00:03:49

always clients that want to get curious about their own process,

Unknown: 00:03:52

their internal landscape, often they don't, they don't have much

Unknown: 00:03:55

knowledge of that they're not they haven't been very

Unknown: 00:03:57

conscious. And they're curious about why they keep repeating

Unknown: 00:04:02

experiences or how they're reacting. They just want to get

Unknown: 00:04:05

curious and they want to have somebody on the journey. There's

Unknown: 00:04:08

always a leadership lens, whether they're organizational

Unknown: 00:04:12

leaders that want to have a better connection with their

Unknown: 00:04:14

team, or a better connection to themselves on their personal

Unknown: 00:04:18

journey. We applied that leadership lens to where they

Unknown: 00:04:21

want to go find out where they want to go, what the vision is,

Unknown: 00:04:25

and set goals to go there. That's what we do. I love

Melissa Deally: 00:04:29

that. And that is really powerful. And you make

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a good point there that sometimes people just aren't

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aware of their internal landscape. Right. And I've

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experienced that myself when I look back and when I was in the

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corporate world, you know, I was just busy doing my job. I loved

Melissa Deally: 00:04:48

my job. But I was busy doing my job and because I loved it, I

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was happy I didn't you know, look inside. I didn't at the

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time have a need. I didn't have the conscious thought I didn't

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think about it. You know, what's going on inside of me? And can I

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be a better person, etc, etc, by, you know, figuring myself

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out and who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing on this

Unknown: 00:05:10

earth, right? And, yes,

Melissa Deally: 00:05:14

I was just gonna say it's very often when we come

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to a crossroads that we start to figure that out. And for me, it

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was, you know, being let go after 24 years in the corporate

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world. And what was also really interesting was, in that time of

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now starting to, you know, grow myself and look at my internal

Melissa Deally: 00:05:35

landscape. I love that term that you've used. I looked back, and

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I realized that I naturally had it as a younger child. Yeah. You

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know, I lost my father at 13. And when I look back at going

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through that whole period, I realized that I had access to my

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internal self at that time, and getting into the corporate

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world, I think that go go go Do do do get more done. philosophy

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or culture, just pushed it out of me. I didn't have time

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anymore. And I think also where many people end up, right.

Unknown: 00:06:17

Yeah. Is that like you said, it takes that that

Unknown: 00:06:19

crossroad, and that's why Usually people are in some sort

Unknown: 00:06:22

of transition. It could be the end of a relationship or this

Unknown: 00:06:25

this sort of pandemic malaise that is so prevalent right now,

Unknown: 00:06:29

or career transition, and people in midlife can relate to, you

Unknown: 00:06:34

know, what my path has been? And then we get to talk about

Unknown: 00:06:38

midlife awakening together.

Melissa Deally: 00:06:41

Yeah. And and there's so many different stages

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of those awakenings through midlife, right? One of them that

Melissa Deally: 00:06:49

I'm very aware of where women need help is that empty nester,

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right, they've looked after their children for so long. And

Melissa Deally: 00:06:57

now the children have flown the coop. And it's like, now what do

Melissa Deally: 00:07:00

I do? Who am I? Right? And I have to say that I'm very

Melissa Deally: 00:07:05

grateful for my journey over the last seven years, because it's

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allowed me to develop into who I am today with this business,

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helping people get to the root cause of their health issue,

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while my children have also become adults, and been away at

Melissa Deally: 00:07:19

university. And so I'm not in that place of who am I, but I

Melissa Deally: 00:07:24

might have been right. And then. So you know, helping people

Melissa Deally: 00:07:29

through those transitions is really, really important. So as

Melissa Deally: 00:07:33

I said earlier, this episode is coming out in the month of

Melissa Deally: 00:07:36

February, the month of love. And I would love you to talk about

Melissa Deally: 00:07:42

what is self love?

Unknown: 00:07:45

Oh, where to begin?

Melissa Deally: 00:07:48

I know. But in February, we often think about

Melissa Deally: 00:07:50

romantic love. But let's also talk about self love. Because,

Unknown: 00:07:55

yeah, and let's name that in order to attract and

Unknown: 00:07:58

maintain love with others. It starts with ourselves, the

Unknown: 00:08:01

relationship we have with ourselves is the template for

Unknown: 00:08:05

the way that we see the world and the way we interact with the

Unknown: 00:08:08

world. So self love, and trying to be concise. Self love would

Unknown: 00:08:14

have to be the regard that you have towards yourself, is it a

Unknown: 00:08:17

high regard poor regard from that stems, self esteem,

Unknown: 00:08:22

probably self confidence, self worth, you know, the ability to

Unknown: 00:08:28

have compassion and kindness towards yourself. Those are all

Unknown: 00:08:32

embedded under that self love. Self love is not about liking

Unknown: 00:08:38

necessarily the way you look. It's about how do I treat myself

Unknown: 00:08:42

anyway, there's a lot there, but it informs the way you view the

Unknown: 00:08:45

world is the world out to get you. Right? We're always the

Unknown: 00:08:49

last to to to get noticed or like you know, you're always the

Unknown: 00:08:53

victim or thrice. That's right, or do you even deserve love? Or

Unknown: 00:08:58

do you push it away before you even get it? Anyway? There's a

Unknown: 00:09:01

lot of behavioral things that stem from that. But it's our

Unknown: 00:09:04

template. It's the relationship with ourselves. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:09:08

themselves.

Melissa Deally: 00:09:09

And so how do we, how do we develop it? If

Melissa Deally: 00:09:14

we're listening to this podcast? And we're thinking, maybe I

Melissa Deally: 00:09:17

don't really have a lot of self love for myself? How does one

Melissa Deally: 00:09:21

develop that?

Unknown: 00:09:22

Well, we have to get curious. First of all, I would

Unknown: 00:09:25

say, as the leader that I am, we have to assess what's there.

Unknown: 00:09:28

What is our self love capital right now? What's it up? You

Unknown: 00:09:32

know, think of a bank account, how much do I have there of self

Unknown: 00:09:35

love? Because if I don't have very much, I'm going to have

Unknown: 00:09:39

behaviors that look for that self love externally. So being

Unknown: 00:09:44

able to assess our capital of self love is the first step in

Unknown: 00:09:48

my opinion. Again, I'm not a researcher. I'm not a

Unknown: 00:09:50

psychologist, but that has been on my path, learning to live you

Unknown: 00:09:56

know what a self love deficit and noticing the behaviors

Unknown: 00:09:59

attached do that, right and choosing again, from a conscious

Unknown: 00:10:03

place. So get curious about the way you treat yourself. The way

Unknown: 00:10:08

you let yourself talk about yourself, you know, like this

Unknown: 00:10:12

inner dialogue, this inner critique to get my

Melissa Deally: 00:10:15

audience is her if, if they've listened to my

Melissa Deally: 00:10:18

podcast since the beginning, they've heard me talk about that

Unknown: 00:10:21

a lot. It's right. I am my own worst critic.

Melissa Deally: 00:10:25

Right. And I know they can be our best friend

Melissa Deally: 00:10:29

when it's keeping us safe from stepping in front of a bus, but

Melissa Deally: 00:10:33

our worst enemy when it's critiquing ourselves, right,

Unknown: 00:10:37

that's right. So just getting curious in just noticing

Unknown: 00:10:43

how we treat ourselves, do we feed ourselves properly? That's

Unknown: 00:10:46

right up our alley. Right? If I loved myself, that's the

Unknown: 00:10:49

question. That's how I would assess. If I love myself truly,

Unknown: 00:10:54

deeply supporting myself, would I allow myself to speak to

Unknown: 00:10:59

myself like that? Or would I stay up until three in the

Unknown: 00:11:03

morning when I work in the morning? You know, watching TV,

Unknown: 00:11:06

would I treat myself like this, if I really loved and supported

Unknown: 00:11:09

myself and accepted myself for who I am? flaws and all. And

Unknown: 00:11:15

that is usually that's, that's why working with a coach helps

Unknown: 00:11:19

because somebody can pick right through our stories. But But

Unknown: 00:11:24

yeah, we have to get curious because there are telltale

Unknown: 00:11:26

signs. Yes.

Melissa Deally: 00:11:29

And I agree that working with a coach is so

Melissa Deally: 00:11:32

important, because they're seeing they have an unbiased

Melissa Deally: 00:11:35

view from the outside. You're so used to the way you live the

Melissa Deally: 00:11:39

actions you take, and you've already justified all of them to

Melissa Deally: 00:11:43

yourself.

Unknown: 00:11:44

Yeah, right. Oh, yeah.

Melissa Deally: 00:11:46

So it's very hard to do this alone. Yeah, and

Melissa Deally: 00:11:52

it will take a lot longer. So I definitely recommend if there's,

Melissa Deally: 00:11:56

you know, somebody listening and going, maybe myself capital

Melissa Deally: 00:11:59

sounds a little bit low, because I'm not getting to bed on time,

Melissa Deally: 00:12:01

and I'm not feeding myself properly. And just really not

Melissa Deally: 00:12:05

looking after myself, I highly recommend working with a coach,

Melissa Deally: 00:12:09

because that's going to be the quickest point for you to find

Melissa Deally: 00:12:14

that place of self love, with far less struggle than trying to

Melissa Deally: 00:12:18

do it all on your own.

Unknown: 00:12:19

And I want to name that living with a self love deficit

Unknown: 00:12:25

is really painful. It really is painful, and it changes the way

Unknown: 00:12:30

that we see ourselves in the world. So are we going to bet on

Unknown: 00:12:34

ourselves? Can I trust myself? Um, can I do I feel worthy of

Unknown: 00:12:40

having a fulfilling relationship, but is that it's

Unknown: 00:12:44

for the for the

Melissa Deally: 00:12:45

YouTube viewers, I have a little disc here that

Melissa Deally: 00:12:48

says I bet on me, and this is actually from my business coach,

Melissa Deally: 00:12:51

because I believe that all coaches need coaches to Yeah,

Melissa Deally: 00:12:54

oh, yeah, we do. As you said, Do I bet on myself, right?

Unknown: 00:13:00

Yeah, those I mean, I could I could give you 10

Unknown: 00:13:02

examples right now. But the way that we live ourselves is really

Unknown: 00:13:05

indicative of what we think deep down about ourselves. And how do

Unknown: 00:13:11

we cope with a chronic lack of self love and self worth is I

Unknown: 00:13:17

would say probably two main direction, we can either wear a

Unknown: 00:13:20

mask and not be vulnerable, just pretend that everything's okay.

Unknown: 00:13:25

And just plow through the crowd as if we're confident and

Unknown: 00:13:28

assured and just kind of hide this deep shame. Or, or we can

Unknown: 00:13:35

rely on other people, then external validation, you know,

Unknown: 00:13:39

performance at work, getting love from other people getting

Unknown: 00:13:44

notice and all this validation piece looking for attention.

Unknown: 00:13:48

And, well, yeah, external pursuits, whether it's in the

Unknown: 00:13:52

doing or in the being, we rely on external sources to give us

Unknown: 00:13:55

that because we don't have it. And that leads to control

Unknown: 00:13:58

issues. Because if we constantly have to manage our external

Unknown: 00:14:01

circumstances, to make sure that our need for love and belonging

Unknown: 00:14:05

is met. That's it. That's a full time job. And then when we don't

Unknown: 00:14:09

have it, we get super anxious because we have this deficit,

Unknown: 00:14:12

this void that we can feel when we pay enough attention. And

Unknown: 00:14:17

ultimately, that's can lead to addiction as well addictive

Unknown: 00:14:21

behaviors, to numb that feeling of unease. Deep

Melissa Deally: 00:14:26

unease. Mm hmm. And so often, we do squash those

Melissa Deally: 00:14:32

emotions down and buried, right? That's a little bit of a

Melissa Deally: 00:14:37

societal thing. So again, if you're listening and you're

Melissa Deally: 00:14:40

going Oh, my goodness, this is me. It's it's not your fault.

Melissa Deally: 00:14:44

How many times have as a young child were you told, you know,

Melissa Deally: 00:14:48

stop crying, you know, be Girls Don't Cry or boys don't cry or

Melissa Deally: 00:14:52

whatever. It was right when that emotional release was happening,

Melissa Deally: 00:14:57

and so you learned that releasing your emotion was bad.

Melissa Deally: 00:14:59

I learned that you had to suck it up and keep it all inside.

Melissa Deally: 00:15:04

But yeah, you know, with all that we know today we know how

Melissa Deally: 00:15:08

detrimental that is to our emotional and our physical

Melissa Deally: 00:15:11

health. You know, I work with people with detoxing, and when

Melissa Deally: 00:15:14

they're detoxing very often those emotions start to come

Melissa Deally: 00:15:16

out. And I say, let it out. It wants to come out, right? Yeah.

Melissa Deally: 00:15:21

So, you know, it's not your fault. If you're sitting here

Melissa Deally: 00:15:25

resonating with this podcast, it's, but what's great is now

Melissa Deally: 00:15:30

that you have this information, what do you choose to do in

Melissa Deally: 00:15:34

terms of taking action? Right? So I love that you're talking

Melissa Deally: 00:15:39

about self love capital, and that assessment for it, that you

Melissa Deally: 00:15:45

do. Talk to me about then committing to self love. And,

Melissa Deally: 00:15:51

you know, maintaining that capital, once you've built it,

Unknown: 00:15:55

it's a daily practice Milissa. It's a daily in my

Unknown: 00:16:00

experience, anyway, it's a daily practice. Because if our

Unknown: 00:16:03

original programming our if our default, default programming is

Unknown: 00:16:08

towards self loathing, and not really thinking too highly of

Unknown: 00:16:12

ourselves. That's, that's, that's the default mode. So then

Unknown: 00:16:15

committing and to answer your previous question, how do we get

Unknown: 00:16:19

more of this? In my experience, mood follows action. Those are

Unknown: 00:16:24

not my words, I picked that out there. And there's just so much

Unknown: 00:16:27

about self love out there. So I don't pretend I have all the

Unknown: 00:16:30

answers. But what works for me is mood follows action. In which

Unknown: 00:16:34

way am I going to show up for myself today. And that starts

Unknown: 00:16:39

when I wake up in the morning, and I have a chicken with

Unknown: 00:16:41

myself, I have a vision for the day, what I'm hoping to get out

Unknown: 00:16:45

of today, what sort of energy I'm in and being respectful of

Unknown: 00:16:49

that, not pretend that the discomfort and the anxiety

Unknown: 00:16:53

doesn't exist, just say, Yeah, you're anxious, you're going to

Unknown: 00:16:57

be speaking on a podcast, and you really want to do well,

Unknown: 00:17:00

well, we're going to acknowledge that, you know, that just having

Unknown: 00:17:03

some kindness, and just showing up in actions that are that are

Unknown: 00:17:08

healthy. So just being really intentional about showing up for

Unknown: 00:17:12

yourself, whatever that means for you. But self care is a big

Unknown: 00:17:15

one. How do you treat yourself, your health, your body, your

Unknown: 00:17:19

relationships, people you care about? How do you want to be a

Unknown: 00:17:23

good human is that important to you, then go do more of that

Unknown: 00:17:27

have some pride for what you do in your life, you know, those

Unknown: 00:17:31

life affirming things that we do, that is an investment into

Unknown: 00:17:36

yourself love capital, because every time you do something that

Unknown: 00:17:39

if that's an alignment, you get a reward out of it. And that

Unknown: 00:17:43

builds a positive cycle of doing more of what fuels you. But for

Unknown: 00:17:48

that, we have to have a contact with, again, our emotional life

Unknown: 00:17:51

or internal landscape. But when we hit those things, like I'm

Unknown: 00:17:55

really proud of that I, whatever the action is, we want to do

Unknown: 00:18:00

more of it. And we start feeling better about ourselves and

Unknown: 00:18:03

having agency and confidence that we can do, what good things

Unknown: 00:18:08

are, we can look after ourselves, or we can make

Unknown: 00:18:11

positive choices. But initially, I think it requires an effort if

Unknown: 00:18:16

you've been going to take an example in a downward spiral of

Unknown: 00:18:20

anxiety. Mm hmm. Moving out of, of that state of anxiety is

Unknown: 00:18:25

hard. It's going to take an effort. So I have to remind

Unknown: 00:18:29

myself personally, mood follows action. I want to feel engaged

Unknown: 00:18:34

and dynamic today. Well, I'm going to go for a walk, and that

Unknown: 00:18:38

is an effort, or whatever, call a friend or whatever that might

Unknown: 00:18:42

be for you. But then creating these things that are going to

Unknown: 00:18:46

make you feel proud and engaged.

Melissa Deally: 00:18:50

Yeah, yeah, I think those are all really, you

Melissa Deally: 00:18:54

know, wonderful points. And, again, my audience has heard me

Melissa Deally: 00:18:58

say this a million times. But self care is the most selfless

Melissa Deally: 00:19:01

act, because it allows you to show up and give the world the

Melissa Deally: 00:19:04

best of you, instead of what's left of you. Yeah, to your

Melissa Deally: 00:19:08

point. It isn't always easy. And maybe the mood isn't suggesting

Melissa Deally: 00:19:14

that you should be doing that you're just feeling really lazy

Melissa Deally: 00:19:17

and like doing nothing. But if you will step into the action,

Melissa Deally: 00:19:22

you can actually then move your mood into a higher energy level

Melissa Deally: 00:19:28

and feel better, right? And nobody can do that for you. You

Melissa Deally: 00:19:32

have to choose to do it for yourself.

Unknown: 00:19:36

Yeah, we have to take responsibility for our well

Unknown: 00:19:38

being and I understand, especially with mental health

Unknown: 00:19:41

right now, I see a lot of that still two years into this

Unknown: 00:19:45

pandemic is sort of malaise that people have been stuck in a rut

Unknown: 00:19:48

and they're not getting this external stimulation that they

Unknown: 00:19:52

used to get and then some people are very, I've been really

Unknown: 00:19:55

uncomfortable with themselves. And I can see that that creates

Unknown: 00:19:59

a lot of things Anxiety and a lot of depression. And once that

Unknown: 00:20:02

is kicked in into, once that's playing out, it's really

Unknown: 00:20:07

difficult. All we see is the roadblock. We have in order to

Unknown: 00:20:12

generate this initial movement, we have to be able to look

Unknown: 00:20:14

beyond the roadblock. You know, what would that look like? What

Unknown: 00:20:18

would that give me? How good is that gonna make me feel? Can I

Unknown: 00:20:21

invest his initial time to get ready or whatever slip into

Unknown: 00:20:26

action is so uncomfortable if you don't want to? But what is

Unknown: 00:20:30

that going to give me and you have to invest into your future

Unknown: 00:20:33

self, just like my example earlier, you can stay and numb

Unknown: 00:20:37

yourself out watching Netflix until 3am. But what does that

Unknown: 00:20:43

doing to your future self in the morning, when you have to be at

Unknown: 00:20:46

work, you're not setting up your future self for success

Unknown: 00:20:50

succeeding. So going to bed a little bit earlier might be a

Unknown: 00:20:53

good way to set up your future self, or to do meal prep. If

Unknown: 00:20:58

making lunches is a drag for you doing meal prep is an investment

Unknown: 00:21:02

into your future self. And this, you know, seemingly very mundane

Unknown: 00:21:08

things they actually add up,

Melissa Deally: 00:21:11

they absolutely do add up. And when you take the

Melissa Deally: 00:21:15

time to put these steps into place, then you're getting that

Melissa Deally: 00:21:18

reward you were talking about earlier of accomplishment. And

Melissa Deally: 00:21:23

also just feeling good about yourself, right? That's right.

Melissa Deally: 00:21:26

And then that motivates you to keep going. And you may fall off

Melissa Deally: 00:21:32

along the way, right, it could be two steps forward, one step

Melissa Deally: 00:21:34

back. But as long as you keep going forward, even after the

Melissa Deally: 00:21:38

step back, you're further ahead than if you do nothing. And

Melissa Deally: 00:21:43

let's face it, if you're that person that's in malaise and

Melissa Deally: 00:21:46

lying on the couch watching Netflix, you're not happy with

Melissa Deally: 00:21:50

your life and you're not, you know, you're not feeling self

Melissa Deally: 00:21:53

love for yourself. Well,

Unknown: 00:21:56

if you choose to do nothing,

Melissa Deally: 00:21:58

nothing changes. And that's where you'll be a

Melissa Deally: 00:22:01

year from now. Yeah. Right. So right, making a choice to step

Melissa Deally: 00:22:09

into, even if I don't love myself, today, I'm going to

Melissa Deally: 00:22:13

learn how to love myself, by taking these steps that starts

Melissa Deally: 00:22:19

you moving forward, that raises your energy. And that's

Melissa Deally: 00:22:25

powerful. Because right there, you can start to get some

Melissa Deally: 00:22:28

feedback. And I think another piece in all of this that's

Melissa Deally: 00:22:31

really important is the increased awareness you start to

Melissa Deally: 00:22:33

have around how you're feeling in any given moment, again, so

Melissa Deally: 00:22:39

often, in that busy gogogo doo doo world, we're not even

Melissa Deally: 00:22:43

stepping in stopping to check in with ourselves. And so we don't

Melissa Deally: 00:22:48

have a true awareness of how we're feeling in any given

Melissa Deally: 00:22:53

moment. But when we slow down, and we do these little check

Melissa Deally: 00:22:58

ins, that's when we can start to go, Oh, I've got this going on

Melissa Deally: 00:23:04

inside of me or, you know, I'm waking up feeling a little bit

Melissa Deally: 00:23:06

anxious. And that's okay. It's because I want to do well, it's

Melissa Deally: 00:23:10

here. It's, it's, you know, my brain wanting me to do well, I'm

Melissa Deally: 00:23:14

going to acknowledge it and keep going with my day as opposed to

Melissa Deally: 00:23:19

letting it cripple me.

Unknown: 00:23:20

Yes, well, again, and that ties it into having a

Unknown: 00:23:23

growth mindset. And then the self forgiveness again, that's a

Unknown: 00:23:27

byproduct of self, you know, self love. You have to love

Unknown: 00:23:31

yourself enough to forgive yourself. If you if you stutter

Unknown: 00:23:35

in front of a crowd, or if you whatever it might be, can we

Unknown: 00:23:39

forgive even having thoughts? Or having anxiety? can I forgive

Unknown: 00:23:44

myself for having this anxiety, this performance anxiety? And

Unknown: 00:23:48

can I be okay with not being perfect? And you know, and just

Unknown: 00:23:52

can I be okay that I'm not there yet that I want to love myself

Unknown: 00:23:55

and I really don't today? Yeah, I can be okay with that. That is

Unknown: 00:23:59

a sign of self love. It's a little tiny dose of it. But

Unknown: 00:24:04

yeah, to be real, that's Sunday's, you're not going to

Unknown: 00:24:07

love yourself very much. And it's okay, there's going to be

Unknown: 00:24:09

ebbs and flow, but every time you accept yourself anyway, that

Unknown: 00:24:14

is a little drop of self love in your capital.

Melissa Deally: 00:24:20

If you're enjoying my content, and someone

Melissa Deally: 00:24:22

that wants to step into being proactive in your health and

Melissa Deally: 00:24:26

learning more, I would love to invite you to join my membership

Melissa Deally: 00:24:30

community. There's a link in the show notes for only 1999 a month

Melissa Deally: 00:24:34

you get access to all of my content, and there's a lot as

Melissa Deally: 00:24:37

well as weekly calls that you can come and get your health

Melissa Deally: 00:24:40

questions answered.

Melissa Deally: 00:24:41

It's truly priceless.

Melissa Deally: 00:24:43

I'd love to see you join the community.

Melissa Deally: 00:24:45

Check out the link in the show notes.

Melissa Deally: 00:24:49

Hello, love that. And I also like what you said there about

Melissa Deally: 00:24:54

accepting yourself as not being perfect. I always tell my

Melissa Deally: 00:24:58

clients were humans Humans just aren't perfect, right? So in

Melissa Deally: 00:25:03

trying to strive for the impossible, how, how can you do

Melissa Deally: 00:25:07

that when no one else has been perfect before, right? So we can

Melissa Deally: 00:25:11

strive to do our best. But recognize that we don't have to

Melissa Deally: 00:25:17

get stuck on being perfect. Because Done is better than

Melissa Deally: 00:25:21

perfect. And that was something that when I first heard that,

Melissa Deally: 00:25:24

that was a huge lightbulb moment for me. Oh, dad is better than

Melissa Deally: 00:25:29

perfect, okay. And you know, just the other day, I sent out

Melissa Deally: 00:25:32

an email and the link to one of the buttons didn't work. And

Melissa Deally: 00:25:35

somebody wrote and told me that, and I tested all of them. Like,

Melissa Deally: 00:25:40

I always send a test email, I swear, I clicked on it, and it

Melissa Deally: 00:25:42

worked. But it didn't work when it went out. And I could beat

Melissa Deally: 00:25:46

myself up over it. Or I could be like, Okay, thanks for letting

Melissa Deally: 00:25:49

me know, I want people to be able to, you know, click that

Melissa Deally: 00:25:52

button and actually get somewhere. So I just sent

Melissa Deally: 00:25:54

another email that said, oops, the link didn't work. And what's

Melissa Deally: 00:25:57

really funny about that is human nature, they always want to know

Melissa Deally: 00:26:01

what the oops was. So more people open the oops email than

Melissa Deally: 00:26:03

the original email, which means more people got the right link.

Melissa Deally: 00:26:07

So maybe it was my way,

Unknown: 00:26:10

I can see that you have like a reasonable reasonable

Unknown: 00:26:13

amount of self love anyway, like a good capital somebody with

Unknown: 00:26:16

with a really, like a big deficit in their self love, that

Unknown: 00:26:20

could have been super stressful for them, they could have really

Unknown: 00:26:24

made let that inner critic go into, such as true of I can

Unknown: 00:26:28

never get anything, right. I'm never gonna be able to have a

Unknown: 00:26:31

coaching practice, if I can't even send an email or whatever,

Unknown: 00:26:35

and just go into super harsh, you know, inner dialogue. And

Unknown: 00:26:41

that's that self love piece that we have to be able to say off,

Unknown: 00:26:44

that's disappointing. I really am disappointed that I made that

Unknown: 00:26:47

mistake. You know, even at the beginning of your practice of

Unknown: 00:26:52

your self love practice to say, well, that's really

Unknown: 00:26:54

disappointing, you know, like to it's it to acknowledge the

Unknown: 00:26:58

emotion, just say, Yeah, I'm feeling a little bit of shame.

Unknown: 00:27:01

Oh, what is that emotion? Okay, that's shame. Well, I accept you

Unknown: 00:27:06

shame. And I hope down the road, you're not being triggered by

Unknown: 00:27:10

trivial things like that, but I will move forward and make and

Unknown: 00:27:14

then, you know, I heard your growth mindset right there,

Unknown: 00:27:17

actually, there was a silver lining in there, I got more

Unknown: 00:27:19

people to click on the link. So you know, but that is done with

Unknown: 00:27:24

practice, you know, and at the beginning, even if it's just to

Unknown: 00:27:27

forgive yourself for making a mistake, and accepting yourself

Unknown: 00:27:31

with a, you know, in my case, I would say being not really tech

Unknown: 00:27:35

savvy, or whatever it might be. And accepting yourself anyway.

Unknown: 00:27:40

That's, that's a good first step.

Melissa Deally: 00:27:44

Yeah, so I appreciate that. And it's

Melissa Deally: 00:27:45

definitely something I've worked on in the last seven years since

Melissa Deally: 00:27:48

I've been in the corporate world because like I said, it was kind

Melissa Deally: 00:27:51

of beaten out of me and then I in my, you know, journey to

Melissa Deally: 00:27:54

where I'm at today, it's definitely been a focus of, you

Melissa Deally: 00:27:58

know, even learning self care was selfless was a huge aha for

Melissa Deally: 00:28:01

me seven years ago. It's like, what? Yeah, it is a journey, it

Melissa Deally: 00:28:05

takes time. So let's just talk about the signs of healthy,

Melissa Deally: 00:28:10

healthy capital. So people that

Unknown: 00:28:14

see body posture changes, capital, self love, it

Unknown: 00:28:20

breeds like ease, and a better flow, lack of self love feels

Unknown: 00:28:25

constricted, when you love yourself, and you genuinely

Unknown: 00:28:29

thinks you have a place in the world, you know, it just breeds

Unknown: 00:28:32

some some more lightness, ease, authenticity. If you're not

Unknown: 00:28:37

afraid of showing up with mistakes or imperfections, you

Unknown: 00:28:41

don't have to hide behind a mask. So then you're authentic,

Unknown: 00:28:45

you can show up authentically with people and in leadership

Unknown: 00:28:48

that makes any coaching and anything really makes a huge

Unknown: 00:28:50

difference to be able to show authentically and so from that

Unknown: 00:28:56

authenticity comes connection way deeper connection by genuine

Unknown: 00:29:00

connection with people. So from that comes you know, fulfillment

Unknown: 00:29:04

belonging and also when you give yourself the benefit of the

Unknown: 00:29:09

doubt again, it's that template idea that the raw relationship

Unknown: 00:29:13

with our self is our template. When you give yourself the

Unknown: 00:29:16

benefit of the doubt, like you know, and just acknowledge

Unknown: 00:29:21

effort and acknowledge participation then you're more

Unknown: 00:29:25

likely to to do that to other people. So then it makes

Unknown: 00:29:28

relationship with people a lot smoother, we're not as reactive

Unknown: 00:29:32

to people we have more resilience into oh, this person

Unknown: 00:29:35

was really dialed or you get cut in traffic like oh, wow, they

Unknown: 00:29:39

must have been you know, they have places to go but that's

Unknown: 00:29:43

okay. It doesn't have to say that they're attacking me I

Unknown: 00:29:45

don't feel reactive towards that person because love and support

Unknown: 00:29:50

myself anyway, you know, that is not going to get me all riled

Unknown: 00:29:54

up. So we just become more tolerant. Yeah, more resilience

Unknown: 00:30:00

overall and accepting of others.

Melissa Deally: 00:30:03

I love that. Because all of that then flows

Melissa Deally: 00:30:08

into just a place of coming from love. You've got yourself love.

Melissa Deally: 00:30:13

And so in that resilience and acceptance of others, and is

Melissa Deally: 00:30:19

more love for others as well.

Unknown: 00:30:20

Right? Yeah, think about the generosity and the

Unknown: 00:30:23

kindness, you know, opening the doors to strangers, like I mean,

Unknown: 00:30:27

to just visit the ripple effect of somebody that is well, and at

Unknown: 00:30:32

ease with themselves. The ripple effect is massive.

Melissa Deally: 00:30:37

Absolutely, absolutely. I love that. And so

Melissa Deally: 00:30:43

from a foundation of self love, we then have what it takes to

Melissa Deally: 00:30:48

embrace your gifts. So let's talk more about that.

Unknown: 00:30:52

Well do to appreciate your gift. Well, you have you

Unknown: 00:30:56

have to to know yourself, first of all, you have to, you have to

Unknown: 00:31:00

know how you work, what are your gifts, and then to see to see

Unknown: 00:31:04

the good side of it and to love yourself enough that you can see

Unknown: 00:31:10

for what they are. Because sometimes you'll give a

Unknown: 00:31:13

compliment to somebody Oh, you're so good at public

Unknown: 00:31:15

speaking, for example, and you're like, oh, no, I just

Unknown: 00:31:18

lucked out or no, it's just because I had a good night's

Unknown: 00:31:20

sleep. I'm not very good. They don't even take it in. Right. So

Unknown: 00:31:24

they don't acknowledge their gifts. By doing that. They just

Unknown: 00:31:26

push it away getting compliments, isn't it?

Melissa Deally: 00:31:29

It's really interesting that you say that,

Melissa Deally: 00:31:31

because that's something I'm working on right now is the act

Melissa Deally: 00:31:34

of receiving. Right? Yeah, it was when I was growing up. My

Melissa Deally: 00:31:37

mother always said it's better to give than receive, right? So

Melissa Deally: 00:31:40

I always thought giving was good. And receiving was that

Melissa Deally: 00:31:42

let's just face it. That young child the way we process things,

Melissa Deally: 00:31:46

and then it goes into our subconscious. That's how I

Melissa Deally: 00:31:48

simplified it. Yeah. So now as an adult, I'm actually having to

Melissa Deally: 00:31:54

learn to receive, right. And so many adults are in this

Melissa Deally: 00:31:57

situation, right? Yeah, that you fall off complements. And, and

Melissa Deally: 00:32:03

so now it's a conscious thought that if someone complements me

Melissa Deally: 00:32:07

that I'm just going to say thank you. I don't have to compliment

Melissa Deally: 00:32:10

them back. This isn't a tit for tat thing going on, which is

Melissa Deally: 00:32:14

what I used to think before, right? And then I can just say

Melissa Deally: 00:32:17

thank you. And depending who it is, I can say thank you, I'm,

Melissa Deally: 00:32:20

I'm receiving that, or in my head. I'm saying that because

Melissa Deally: 00:32:24

that too is a practice. Right? It's radical, habit.

Unknown: 00:32:30

Radical ownership, take ownership for all that you are

Unknown: 00:32:33

flaws in all but if you have talents, have the enough love

Unknown: 00:32:39

and kindness towards yourself to be able to realize that you have

Unknown: 00:32:42

a knack at something. Right. So then when it's pointed out to

Unknown: 00:32:46

you, you can say yeah, actually, I really like public speaking.

Unknown: 00:32:49

Oh, I'm glad that you liked it or whatever. You know, but But

Unknown: 00:32:54

you know, some people absolutely have to brush it away.

Melissa Deally: 00:32:57

Yeah. So tell me I mean, this is a question that

Melissa Deally: 00:33:01

just came into mind that I'm going to throw out to you that

Melissa Deally: 00:33:05

tell me what your favorite part is about working with your

Melissa Deally: 00:33:08

clients in helping them develop their self love,

Unknown: 00:33:13

is the discoveries that they have right there. You know,

Unknown: 00:33:16

like, because we can be because I get curious. And I will ask

Unknown: 00:33:19

questions, and then they don't know, they'll tell me something,

Unknown: 00:33:22

whatever they do. And then I'm like, Ah, what's that about?

Unknown: 00:33:25

Tell me more about that. And then they go in the knee.

Unknown: 00:33:28

Sometimes they surprise themselves like, oh, you know,

Unknown: 00:33:32

and they just kind of connect the dots. And I can see it. I'm

Unknown: 00:33:35

like, what, what just happened there? There's a shift there. I

Unknown: 00:33:38

saw shift. And they've been connecting the dots right there.

Unknown: 00:33:41

I just love that.

Melissa Deally: 00:33:43

That's awesome. I love it. You just gave me

Melissa Deally: 00:33:45

goosebumps head to toe because that's the best kind of

Melissa Deally: 00:33:47

coaching, right is drawing that out of Somalia. What was it? But

Melissa Deally: 00:33:51

they just didn't know because they were stuck in their habit.

Melissa Deally: 00:33:54

Just like I was stuck in my habit of I should give but not

Melissa Deally: 00:33:56

receive. Right?

Unknown: 00:33:58

Yeah. So Right. That's the that's the basis of coaching

Unknown: 00:34:01

is that the clients has the answer. We all have our answers.

Unknown: 00:34:05

It's within us. But it's buried deep sometimes. And again, we

Unknown: 00:34:09

have a lot of stories, like you said at the beginning of the

Unknown: 00:34:12

podcast about why we do things. And that has been a proven story

Unknown: 00:34:16

over and over. And we don't question it. And a coach will

Unknown: 00:34:20

actually kind of just dismantle that just to get curious just to

Unknown: 00:34:23

see if there's something there and often Yeah, the clients but

Unknown: 00:34:26

I just love to watch their face or their body posture, like you

Unknown: 00:34:29

know, when they have that shift, energy shifts, and then we get

Unknown: 00:34:34

to to name it. That's, that's pretty cool.

Melissa Deally: 00:34:37

I love that. So this is really, really powerful,

Melissa Deally: 00:34:42

deep work for people. And as we said earlier, working with a

Melissa Deally: 00:34:47

coach helps that be drawn out because it is buried so deeply.

Melissa Deally: 00:34:54

You don't you're not even aware that it's there many times so

Melissa Deally: 00:34:58

that's why you're seeing that surprise. And people's faces,

Melissa Deally: 00:35:01

etc. So I love that that's the your favorite part of the work

Melissa Deally: 00:35:06

is drawing that out. Because that's where the transformation

Melissa Deally: 00:35:09

happens, that shift happens as Yeah,

Unknown: 00:35:11

because something gets unlocked, you know, and then we

Unknown: 00:35:14

have access to it. Yeah, that's fantastic.

Melissa Deally: 00:35:17

And that might be just a starting point. And

Melissa Deally: 00:35:18

then there might still be more to be unlocked, there isn't

Melissa Deally: 00:35:21

necessarily just one thing that needs to be unlocked. But

Melissa Deally: 00:35:23

opening that door can then lead to more, it's a little bit like

Melissa Deally: 00:35:27

a Pandora's box. But it's really powerful in opening it. And

Melissa Deally: 00:35:32

going through the process of seeing what else is there.

Unknown: 00:35:36

Yeah, and that's why working with coaches, and like I

Unknown: 00:35:39

said, I have a coach of you, you do too. I mean, it's, it's

Unknown: 00:35:43

fantastic. Because opening that Pandora's box, if you haven't

Unknown: 00:35:45

done it in a long time, or about a topic that we have not

Unknown: 00:35:48

explored, it can be really jarring. Like, it's kind of

Unknown: 00:35:52

scary. And then to have a framework and to add to working

Unknown: 00:35:55

with a coach that's going to be there for you for three months,

Unknown: 00:35:57

six months, whatever engagement you decide to go with. But then

Unknown: 00:36:02

I also want to mention that the work is done between sessions,

Unknown: 00:36:05

it's the client that actually has to do the work between

Unknown: 00:36:08

session the session gets things moving, but the client does the

Unknown: 00:36:12

work also between sessions and reports back in the next

Unknown: 00:36:16

session.

Melissa Deally: 00:36:17

Absolutely. So that's a really great point. Do

Melissa Deally: 00:36:20

you want to just elaborate a little bit on what that work

Melissa Deally: 00:36:22

also looks like? For?

Unknown: 00:36:24

It depends for every, for every client, but based on

Unknown: 00:36:29

what came up, I like to give homework personally because I

Unknown: 00:36:32

you know, I could explore with them for three hours. I mean,

Unknown: 00:36:35

usually, there's just a lot there. So often, based on the

Unknown: 00:36:40

topic of the session, I said, okay, and sometimes I'll join

Unknown: 00:36:44

the links of podcasts that I've seen, or books that I've read on

Unknown: 00:36:47

the subject. But let's say a client starts exploring their

Unknown: 00:36:51

own reactivity and where that comes from while you we've been

Unknown: 00:36:54

talking about that for like, how many months you know, like, it's

Unknown: 00:36:57

a lifetime of experiences. So then I might send them

Unknown: 00:37:02

resources. And then in queries, usually it's like question two

Unknown: 00:37:06

to, you know, like journaling prompts, or whatever activity

Unknown: 00:37:10

and noticing activity, and it's but it's processing,

Unknown: 00:37:14

essentially, it's just going to be a way to process right, and

Unknown: 00:37:18

to connect dots keep connecting dots.

Melissa Deally: 00:37:20

Exactly. And it's so important, right?

Melissa Deally: 00:37:22

That's, that will result in faster progress for them if they

Melissa Deally: 00:37:25

do that work between the sessions,

Unknown: 00:37:27

so much, like a completely different level of

Unknown: 00:37:30

awareness. Mm hmm. For them. And that's, that's a gift that they

Unknown: 00:37:35

give themselves. Yeah. Because then they can make choices in

Unknown: 00:37:40

the moment, the next time that situation happened. And they can

Unknown: 00:37:43

say, up default way, blowing up and screaming at the person or

Unknown: 00:37:49

intent intentional, my, you know, I want to be okay, get

Unknown: 00:37:52

curious, like, you know, whatever their path will be,

Unknown: 00:37:55

they can make a choice, they will catch themselves. Mm hmm.

Melissa Deally: 00:37:58

Yeah. And I love that. And I know, in my own

Melissa Deally: 00:38:00

journey, that I just have so much more awareness and catch

Melissa Deally: 00:38:03

myself with particularly when I'm talking to myself right now,

Melissa Deally: 00:38:07

like everyone else, half the time, I was berating myself for

Melissa Deally: 00:38:11

Yeah, that I didn't need to berate myself for right. And

Melissa Deally: 00:38:14

then as I started to get that awareness, I could change the

Melissa Deally: 00:38:17

way that I talk to myself. And, you know, I encourage my clients

Melissa Deally: 00:38:22

to be talking to themselves as they would their best friend,

Melissa Deally: 00:38:25

oh, if they talk to their best friend, the way they talk to

Melissa Deally: 00:38:28

themselves, they probably wouldn't have it best friend,

Melissa Deally: 00:38:31

right?

Unknown: 00:38:33

You have to be your own ally. That's the whole taking

Unknown: 00:38:36

responsibility and ownership for your life, you have to be your

Unknown: 00:38:39

own ally. I mean, we all have this roommate here, that is

Unknown: 00:38:42

really kind of undesirable. And we have to be able to either

Unknown: 00:38:47

prove them wrong, a few different techniques for that

Unknown: 00:38:49

with the saboteurs in our head, but we have to be able to have

Unknown: 00:38:52

an ally somewhere in there that has our back, we have to be our

Unknown: 00:38:56

own ally, for sure.

Melissa Deally: 00:38:58

Absolutely. And this is such an important

Melissa Deally: 00:39:00

starting point, as you said at the beginning, because if you

Melissa Deally: 00:39:03

don't have that self love for yourself, it's very hard for you

Melissa Deally: 00:39:07

to find the partner that is, you know, a good partner for you.

Melissa Deally: 00:39:12

Right, right. It's also harder for you to be looking after your

Melissa Deally: 00:39:16

health. Because you're not you're already not prioritizing

Melissa Deally: 00:39:21

yourself, you don't see the importance in looking after your

Melissa Deally: 00:39:24

health and in this day and age, very often looking after your

Melissa Deally: 00:39:27

health proactively, which is what I'm a proponent of, yeah,

Melissa Deally: 00:39:31

most money, right? It's not about going to the doctor for

Melissa Deally: 00:39:34

free and getting your prescription and that's covered,

Melissa Deally: 00:39:37

because that prescription very often is masking a symptom that

Melissa Deally: 00:39:42

results in another symptom that results in another prescription

Melissa Deally: 00:39:44

and you're not actually healing. That's right, true healing when

Melissa Deally: 00:39:48

we get to the root cause that is costing money that requires an

Melissa Deally: 00:39:53

investment in yourself. And to do that requires self love

Unknown: 00:39:59

it really does absolutely too. Yeah. Yeah, you

Unknown: 00:40:04

have to be able to want to invest in yourself. And then

Unknown: 00:40:08

that's where limiting beliefs are like, oh, yeah, whatever.

Unknown: 00:40:11

Like, what's the point? What's the point? Everybody is

Unknown: 00:40:15

overweight in my family? I know by the time I'm 48, I'm going to

Unknown: 00:40:18

be overweight. That's how we are. What's the point? You know,

Unknown: 00:40:21

are they're not going to try to get additional information or to

Unknown: 00:40:24

try? Because they don't have that that inner empowerment?

Unknown: 00:40:27

Drive. Right.

Melissa Deally: 00:40:29

Exactly. Exactly. And it's not just

Melissa Deally: 00:40:31

relationship ships and in health, it's actually in all

Melissa Deally: 00:40:34

aspects of our life. It's in our finances, it's in our career.

Melissa Deally: 00:40:38

The way we do one thing is the way we do everything.

Unknown: 00:40:41

Yeah, that's why I was talking about this template. It

Unknown: 00:40:44

informs the way we view the world and the way that we take

Unknown: 00:40:47

our place in the world as well.

Melissa Deally: 00:40:50

Absolutely. So yes, so So key, I love that

Melissa Deally: 00:40:55

we've had this conversation today that it's coming out in

Melissa Deally: 00:40:58

the month of love, and I hope that it's resonated with our

Melissa Deally: 00:41:01

listeners. But before we wrap up the podcast, I want to ask you

Melissa Deally: 00:41:05

the question that I asked all of my guests, and that is, what

Melissa Deally: 00:41:08

does don't wait for your wake up call mean to you.

Unknown: 00:41:12

It means you don't have to wait. Don't wait until you

Unknown: 00:41:15

get a really bad diagnosis, or big health scare scare or like

Unknown: 00:41:21

mental health. Break down. Don't Don't wait for something to

Unknown: 00:41:27

break down. You can you can take action now you can get curious

Unknown: 00:41:30

now about optimizing your life or living the life that you want

Unknown: 00:41:34

to live often. Well, that's what I see in midlife. Or, you know,

Unknown: 00:41:38

we wait until the big diagnosis and then you get people in on

Unknown: 00:41:42

their beds at the hospital. And it's like, I'm not living the

Unknown: 00:41:44

life. I wanted to well, you don't have to wait until there.

Unknown: 00:41:47

You can get curious before that. And you can change the past.

Unknown: 00:41:50

It's not too late.

Melissa Deally: 00:41:52

Absolutely. It's true. It's never too late.

Melissa Deally: 00:41:54

Right? Not too late.

Unknown: 00:41:55

Not anymore. That is not true. People think that

Unknown: 00:41:57

changing career at 4550. Or what? It's not too late. You can

Unknown: 00:42:02

write your first book at 6570 years old. Don't wait for your

Unknown: 00:42:06

Wake Up Calls. Yeah.

Melissa Deally: 00:42:08

I love that. I love that. I actually just I

Melissa Deally: 00:42:11

love the whole concept of life by design as well. And I just

Melissa Deally: 00:42:14

did a post on that today because I saw Yeah, I went skiing this

Melissa Deally: 00:42:18

morning. Yeah, you commented on it. I went school with pottery?

Melissa Deally: 00:42:22

And why not? Right? And because I choose to design my life the

Melissa Deally: 00:42:27

way that I want it to be? And as you said, we can all do that.

Melissa Deally: 00:42:33

Yeah, but it absolutely starts with that place of self love and

Melissa Deally: 00:42:37

self worth. So that we know that we can step out there and do it.

Melissa Deally: 00:42:41

Is it scary? And when you get started? Sure. But everything is

Melissa Deally: 00:42:46

scary when you first start, right? Even riding a bicycle.

Melissa Deally: 00:42:49

The first time was scary when you were three or four or five,

Unknown: 00:42:52

I suppose. Right? And what you what you just said, we

Unknown: 00:42:56

all can do it. I heard limiting beliefs in my head. So I'm sure

Unknown: 00:43:00

everybody had little limiting beliefs know me, I mean is

Unknown: 00:43:03

different. I can't because and that's where you know, working

Unknown: 00:43:07

with somebody outside of ourselves to actually listen to

Unknown: 00:43:10

those limiting beliefs. Prove them wrong and actually make a

Unknown: 00:43:15

plan like you did to actually actualize you know, the life you

Unknown: 00:43:19

want to live. is a wonderful, that post was really inspiring.

Melissa Deally: 00:43:23

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. And so my

Melissa Deally: 00:43:28

last question for you is, is there? Oh, actually, you know,

Melissa Deally: 00:43:31

before we get to that you have a gift for the audience. So please

Melissa Deally: 00:43:35

share what your gift is.

Unknown: 00:43:36

Yeah. So free consultation. There's no strings

Unknown: 00:43:40

attached. So if you want to, you know, find out what coaching is

Unknown: 00:43:43

about or what my coaching style is about. You can go on my

Unknown: 00:43:47

website in the book now, little button top right? Well, plus,

Unknown: 00:43:51

you can read about me on the website and see if I would be a

Unknown: 00:43:53

good fit for you. Because it is important for clients that we're

Unknown: 00:43:56

considering coaching to try a few different flavors, just try

Unknown: 00:44:00

all coaches, they have the initial consultation that's

Unknown: 00:44:03

free, no strings attached, get a taste for what coaching is,

Unknown: 00:44:06

decide if it's for you. So that is Yeah, half an hour session.

Unknown: 00:44:12

Free off to free and like I said, no strings attached. So

Unknown: 00:44:16

give it a try.

Melissa Deally: 00:44:17

And what's your website again? And I'll put it

Melissa Deally: 00:44:19

in the show notes. But you can say it now do.

Unknown: 00:44:21

It's my name. So that's not the easiest lose. Lose scarf

Unknown: 00:44:25

on yahoo.com. So yeah, look in the show notes.

Melissa Deally: 00:44:29

Definitely in the shownotes. So yeah, you can

Melissa Deally: 00:44:31

go to the game.com. So well, that's, that's wonderful. And I

Melissa Deally: 00:44:36

highly encourage people to go to your website and book and I do

Melissa Deally: 00:44:41

agree that it's really important to have a good rapport with your

Melissa Deally: 00:44:46

coach and you only know if you're going to have that by

Melissa Deally: 00:44:49

doing that initial call and checking out a few and then from

Melissa Deally: 00:44:53

there deciding which person do you feel that you most resonate

Melissa Deally: 00:44:56

with?

Unknown: 00:44:57

Yeah, and there's no expectation I want people to

Unknown: 00:44:59

know Because often, you know, we're stuck in our beliefs at

Unknown: 00:45:03

all. Well, now if I start talking about that, then I'm

Unknown: 00:45:05

going to feel obligated to pay that person. I mean, it's common

Unknown: 00:45:09

practice in the business, we want you to have a fit that

Unknown: 00:45:13

works for your life. Absolutely.

Melissa Deally: 00:45:15

Absolutely. I do the same thing. It is very

Melissa Deally: 00:45:18

common practice, right? Yeah. How does somebody know if I can

Melissa Deally: 00:45:21

even help them if we haven't had an initial conversation to see

Melissa Deally: 00:45:24

if we can, you know, work together and they may not be a

Melissa Deally: 00:45:27

good fit for me. And then I can refer them to someone else to if

Melissa Deally: 00:45:30

they don't know anybody else that

Unknown: 00:45:32

to do? So. Absolutely.

Melissa Deally: 00:45:34

Awesome. Thank you for offering that. And then

Melissa Deally: 00:45:37

yeah, my last question is, what would you like to leave the

Melissa Deally: 00:45:41

audience with to inspire them to take action on their self love

Melissa Deally: 00:45:45

journey today?

Unknown: 00:45:47

Give yourself that gift of ease and peace, internal

Unknown: 00:45:51

peace with who you are, you know, like, you need to be okay

Unknown: 00:45:58

and loving of who you are. We cannot just be our own enemy. So

Unknown: 00:46:04

get curious about what's there, who you are, who you want to be

Unknown: 00:46:08

just get curious.

Melissa Deally: 00:46:10

I love that. What a great way to end. So

Melissa Deally: 00:46:12

thank you so much for joining us here today lose. And thank you

Melissa Deally: 00:46:16

to the audience for joining as well. And be sure to tune back

Melissa Deally: 00:46:20

in next week for another episode of Don't wait for your wake up

Melissa Deally: 00:46:23

call podcast.

Melissa Deally: 00:46:32

Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait

Melissa Deally: 00:46:35

for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If

Melissa Deally: 00:46:38

you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone

Melissa Deally: 00:46:41

who you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their

Melissa Deally: 00:46:44

life. That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going

Melissa Deally: 00:46:48

to your favorite podcast listening app. And let me know

Melissa Deally: 00:46:51

what you enjoy or would like to hear more of it will support me

Melissa Deally: 00:46:55

in my effort to bring the possibility of natural healing

Melissa Deally: 00:46:58

to a wider audience and help disrupt the sick care system we

Melissa Deally: 00:47:03

have today and make human health the global priority. Health is