Episode 54

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Published on:

19th Feb 2022

Do You Love Yourself?

Do you love yourself? Have you ever stopped to consider that?  In this episode, I dive into self-love, and self-worth and steps to develop both.   The way we show love to ourselves can show up in many ways, from the nutritious food we put into our body, to the boundaries we set around our self-care time, and the people we hang out with that lift us up!  There are many habits we get into that lower our self-worth, and sometimes they just happen due to a lifetime of subconscious thoughts about who we are!. The great thing is once we have awareness around this, we can change our thoughts, which changes our beliefs and our actions so that we can fall in love with ourselves. When we do this, we have so much more to give our loved ones too!   Tune into this episode for some simple steps you can start today, to grow your self-worth and fall back in love with yourself! 

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About the Host:

Melissa is an Integrative Health Practitioner helping people get to the root cause of their health issues.  Melissa neither diagnoses nor cures but helps bring your body back into balance by helping discover your “toxic load” and then removing the toxins. Melissa offers functional medicine lab testing that helps you “see inside” to know exactly what is going on, and then provides a personalized wellness protocol using natural herbs and supplements.   Melissa’s business is 100% virtual – the lab tests are mailed directly to your home and she specializes in holding your hand and guiding the way to healing so that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. 

Melissa has been featured at a number of Health & Wellness Summits, such as the Health, Wealth & Wisdom Summit, The Power To Profit Summit, The Feel Fan-freaking-tas-tic Summit, and the Aim Higher Summit, and has guested on over 30 different podcasts teaching people about the importance of prioritizing our health and how to get get started. 

 

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Transcript
Melissa Deally:

Imagine getting up every day full of energy is

Melissa Deally:

if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be? Like? What

Melissa Deally:

would that be worth to you? What is your health worth to

Melissa Deally:

you? Think about it. Your health isn't everything. But without

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it, everything else is nothing. And yet too many of us are

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taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one

Melissa Deally:

wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with a disease or chronic

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illness. And yet, we've never been taught how to be proactive

Melissa Deally:

in our health through our school system, or public health. As a

Melissa Deally:

registered health coach and integrative health practitioner,

Melissa Deally:

I believe it is time this information is made available to

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everyone. Combining new knowledge around your health and

Melissa Deally:

the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the

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comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your

Melissa Deally:

health for today and all your tomorrow's don't wait for your

Melissa Deally:

wake up call.

Melissa Deally:

Welcome back to the don't wait for your wake up call podcast.

Melissa Deally:

And today I'm continuing the theme of love for the month of

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February 2022.

Unknown:

And

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last time, I was talking about the energetics of

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Love and Love Languages back in episode 52. And then Episode 53,

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we have the lovely Whitney Corbin on talking about romantic

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love and relationships. And today, I want you to ask

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yourself the all important question Do you love yourself?

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Are you worthy of your own love. If you don't first love

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yourself, it's very hard for you to truly love someone else. So

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let's dive into self worth and how that impacts our ability to

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love others. There is a quote by Joyce Meyer that says if you

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don't love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love

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others as you can't give away what you don't have. And there

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is another quote that counters that which says it's not that

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people can't love you. If you don't love yourself, it's that

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you won't feel it because it will always seem like you don't

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deserve it. And another quote by Mandy Hale is if you don't love

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yourself, you'll always be chasing after people who don't

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love you either. Perhaps you relate to one of these. Our self

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worth is the result of many aspects of our life from

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traumatic experiences the combination of the five people

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we associate with the most, and our beliefs that are deeply

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seated in our subconscious mind. And were formed prior to the age

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of age based on what we were told or perceived about

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ourselves and our world. At that very young age. Our self worth

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has the ability to move us forward, or keep us stuck. We

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stay stuck when we believe we aren't worth doing whatever it

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is we think we might like to do. Or we can move forward when we

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realize we are worth taking that one small step towards whatever

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it is that we desire. We all have the power to design our

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life and live it the way we choose to. Or we can sit back

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and a victim mentality and let life happen to us. Where are you

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on that spectrum? Are you stuck in the victim mentality? Or have

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you broken out of that and know that you have the power to

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design your life and live it your way? The first step in

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changing your self worth and upgrading it is to understand

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where you are at and whether you are where are you truly want to

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be. So let's start by looking at how you treat yourself. What

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kind of food do you feed your body? Is it healthy nourishing

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food are you eating on the run and grabbing things that you

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know aren't great, but you're so busy looking after everyone

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else, that you aren't making the time to truly look after

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yourself and feed yourself properly? Do you slow down and

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listen to your body? Your body talks to you and yet we so often

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ignore it. But when we slow down and listen to the symptoms, we

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are honoring our body and our self worth at the same time.

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Because when we listen we are much more likely to then take

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action Understanding that your symptoms are your body's way of

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trying to ask you to do something differently, is really

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important in that equation there, the symptoms aren't just

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there for you to ignore and accept as aging, or genetics or

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seasonal allergies, which is what tends to happen. Because as

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a society, that's how we talk to each other. I've got aches and

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pains, it sucks, getting old, etc, etc, you know, symptoms

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come up, and we just accept them as being part of the aging

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process, instead of recognizing that is our body asking us to do

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something differently.

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Examples of these may be you're getting headaches, you've got

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swollen fingers, or joints from too many inflammatory foods like

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sugar, dairy gluten, right? So your body is talking to you

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asking you to do something differently. And are you paying

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attention? Are you willing to slow down and pay attention in

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order to honor your body asking you to do something differently,

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and in that process, honor yourself. When we discount

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ourselves when we put ourselves down, that's when we are showing

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a lower level of self worth. But when we instead, respect

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ourselves, and listen, and tune in and make choices that are in

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our best interest, that is when we're showing that increased

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self worth. So you can see how this comes into play throughout

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your day each and every day with every decision that you make.

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And you may not be factoring in self worth to those decisions.

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But you can see how you can. And if you want to truly value

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yourself, you can see how you can factor yourself into the

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decision. It's not about doing things for everybody else all

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the time and putting yourself last, it is about factoring

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yourself in to each decision. When you put yourself last,

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that's when you end up in burnout, that's when you end up

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resentful, that's when you end up fatigue and low energy. And

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that results in a lower level of self worth, when you put

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yourself first, you're raising that self worth, but you're also

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ensuring that you're serving from a full cup, and that you

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have the energy to serve the others in your life to the best

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of your ability. Because you've put yourself first, it comes

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back to the saying that I've said over and over and over

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again on this podcast since it started just over a year ago,

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that self care is the most selfless act because it allows

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you to show up and give the world the best of you instead of

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what's left of you. That self care is driving our self worth.

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When we have good self worth, we take the time to care for

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ourselves. So are you following through on commitments to

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yourself? Or do you let yourself down, even though you wouldn't

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let your best friend down, be truthful here because this is

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very common. When we create boundaries to show respect to

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ourselves, we have to honor them. Those boundaries could be

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putting self care time into your calendar and blocking it. And

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then doing whatever that is that you plan to do, whether it's

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going for a walk a bike ride, whether it's taking an hour out

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to read a book, maybe call a friend, maybe have a bath,

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whatever it is, is meaningful to you. You put it in the calendar,

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you created the boundary. And then did you show respect to

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yourself in honoring that and actually doing it, as opposed

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to, oh, that doesn't really matter. And so and so asked me

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to do this. And that's the only time in my day. So I'm gonna

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give up what I plan to do for me and do this for them. When we

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say no to others, so that we can say yes to ourselves. That is

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when we are building our self worth. And it may mean that you

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have to release commitments that say yes to others. Maybe you've

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taken on too much. Maybe you have to go back to others and

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say that you can't get it all done. Maybe you need to recruit

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other people to help in a volunteer scenario where it

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seems to be too much more than you expected. Or maybe it's just

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being cognizant of, I'll stick to my commitments right now, but

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I'm not going to take on anything more. We have to start

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saying yes to ourselves and no to others in order to have the

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time to be able to build the commitments to ourselves in our

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calendar if you're enjoying my content intense and someone that

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wants to step into being proactive in your health and

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learning more, I would love to invite you to join my membership

Melissa Deally:

community. There's a link in the show notes for only 1999 a

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month, you get access to all of my content. And there's a lot as

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well as weekly calls that you can come and get your health

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questions answered. It's truly priceless. I'd love to see you

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join the community, check out the link in the show notes.

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Next, you can take a look at who are the people you hang around

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the most? Do they lift you up, support and motivate you? Are

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they interested in your personal growth? Or do they discourage

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you from moving forward in your life? Because of their own fears

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of being left behind? How many times have you been told you

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can't do that? And it stops you. When you've come up with an

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idea. Do you realize that when someone tells you that you can't

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do something, it actually has nothing to do with you. But it

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is a direct reflection of what they think about themselves. And

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it comes out of their mouth as if it's meant for you. You might

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have voiced a desire to quit your job and start your own

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business. And we're told by a well meaning family member, you

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can't do that it's too risky. What if you fail. That is their

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opinion of their ability to start a business as perhaps

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they've never thought about doing so they don't even have an

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idea of what to start. So of course, they can't start a

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business. Plus, they don't want to see you fail. So they'd

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rather you stay where you are not realizing that you're

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unhappy and feel stuck. A regular paycheck is no reason to

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accept unhappiness and feeling stuck. Besides, you've been

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thinking about this for a while now you have an idea, you aren't

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happy in your job, you want to move on. And you can absolutely

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do this. You just need to find the right group of people to

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lift you up, support you and carry you forward in this

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desire. If they hold you back, start finding a new tribe. You

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can find a new tribe of like minded people by joining groups

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of people with similar interests or hobbies or taking a course

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you were interested in. In hiring a business coach join a

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mastermind group. There's so many places where you can find

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people that will lift you up. And you have to step away from

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the people that are holding you back, which as I said is very

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often well meaning well intentioned family who were used

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to you where you're at. But if you're not happy where you're

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at, you get to choose to move forward and design the life that

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you want to live your way, right. Another important step in

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boosting your self worth is to shift your subconscious

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thoughts. This is simple to do, but not necessarily easy. But I

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encourage you to do it all the same for it yields powerful

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results. I call this the mirror challenge. I invite you to make

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some time and stand in front of your mirror and lock yourself in

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the eyes and say I love you. Don't just say the words though

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you need to feel them.

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And at first, it will feel strange and awkward. But stick

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with it and keep repeating the words. Hear the emotion in your

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voice. Feel the love in your body, change the intonation in

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your voice as needed. Change the words to such as I love you so

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much. Or I may not have always loved you, but I love you now.

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So that is meaningful to you. I find this experience often

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results in tears. And that's okay. Those tears are

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unnecessary release of feelings that you no longer need feelings

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that result in a lack of self worth. Practices daily for 10

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minutes until you reprogram your subconscious mind to know that

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you truly do love yourself. You can also do a quiz from the

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book. How to be your biggest fan by Rene sir Mack. The quiz asks

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many questions about everyday ways you live your life with

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questions about whether you pay your bills on time, the

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condition of your desk most of the time, the amount you

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complain each day, whether you return borrowed items on time do

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you make your bed every morning? Do you volunteer your time? How

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often you read or listen to books. What is your driving

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record? How often you set and achieve goals and many, many

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more. You rate each of these as being either positive, negative,

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or neutral, in terms of your response in how you feel when

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you read this statement. So if somebody has a poor driving

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record, perhaps when they read that statement, they have a

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negative response to that, because they know they have a

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driving record, and they don't like it. And they'd like to

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improve that. And so right now they have a negative response to

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it. But perhaps someone who makes their bed every morning

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loves their neat tidy bed, that gives them a positive response.

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And then through this, you come up with an overall score of

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yourself worth. Now if that score is low, you might feel

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that as a blow to your self worth. Or you can look at that

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as a starting point from which you can launch your self worth

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journey, to take steps to build your self worth by changing one

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item on the list into a new habit that boosts self worth.

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And then go to the next item. And you might not think that

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making your bed daily has anything to do with self worth.

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But making your bed creates a tidy bedroom, which allows you

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to have pride in the appearance of your room. And the way we do

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one thing is the way we do everything in our life. So if we

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start to clean up one area of our life and take more care,

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because we are building our self respect, will start to do that

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in the other areas of our life. And it won't be long before we

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can stand in front of that mirror and say, I love you and

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truly mean it with a big smile on our face instead of tears. As

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you start to change your beliefs about yourself that triggers new

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actions and behaviors, behaviors that further fuel your self

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worth and love of self. Now, I'm not going to tell you this is

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easy, but I am going to tell you this is possible. If you want to

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upgrade your self worth you absolutely can. If you want to

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fall in love with yourself, you absolutely can. If you need

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help, there are many coaches that can support you in this

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journey. They can't do the work for you. Just like I can't do

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the work for my clients. But a good coach will guide your

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journey, hold you accountable to yourself and draw out your own

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magic that has been hidden inside for too long to let you

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shine. And so next week, I will be interviewing one such coach

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as we dive into a conversation focused on self love. So I hope

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you come back and join us again. Thank you for listening.

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Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait

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for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If

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you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone

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who you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their

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life. That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going

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to your favorite podcast listening app. And let me know

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what you enjoy or would like to hear more of it will support me

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in my effort to bring the possibility of natural healing

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to a wider audience and help disrupt the sick care system we

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have today and make human health a global priority. Health. Is

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About the Podcast

Don't Wait For Your Wake Up Call!
with Melissa Deally, Integrative Health Practitioner
As an Integrative Health Practitioner I have come to realize that we simply haven't been taught how to optimize our health, and that the average person has habits that are negatively impacting their health, due to this lack of knowledge, through no fault of their own. Public health and our school system simply don't teach us enough about nutrition, sleep, stress, gut health or how interconnected our bodies are! Modern life has us more sleep deprived, stressed out and the sickest ever, and I believe it is time to bring this education to you, so that you CAN be empowered in your health and you can then make the right choices for you and your family. The choices you make today impact your future 1 year, 5 years, 10 years + from now. It is never too early to start looking after your health, as Health is your TRUE wealth....without it what do you have?

About your host

Profile picture for Melissa Deally

Melissa Deally

Melissa is an Integrative Mind Body Health Practitioner helping people get to the root cause of their health issue. Melissa neither diagnoses nor cures, but helps bring your body back into balance by helping discover your “toxic load” and then removing the toxins. Melissa offers functional medicine lab testing that helps you “see inside” to know exactly what is going on, and then provides a personalized wellness protocol using natural herbs and supplements. Melissa’s business is 100% virtual – the lab tests are mailed directly to your home and she specializes in holding your hand and guiding the way to healing, so that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.