Do You Have A Growth Mindset or Fixed Mindset? | Ep 86

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Imagine getting up every day full of energy is if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be like?

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What would that be worth to you?

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What is your health worth to you? Think about it. Your health isn't everything. But without it, everything else is nothing. And yet too many of us are taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with the disease or chronic illness. And yet, we've never been taught how to be proactive in our health through our school system, or public health. As a registered health coach and integrative health practitioner, I believe it is time this information is made available to everyone. Combining new knowledge around your health and the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your health for today and all your tomorrow's don't wait for your wake up

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call. Welcome back to another episode of The don't wait for your wake up call podcast. I am Melissa Deally your host. And this month we are starting a whole new theme of mindset. But first I want to share with you a lovely testimonial I just received from a client or Ciara in California. And she says I met Melissa through a friend and quickly joined her growing community. The beauty of working with her is that she meets you where you are at sands judgment. And with practical, consistent and empathetic advice. My big aha was included recognizing how unconscious sugar was sneaking into my day and how easy and refreshing it was to give up my daily dose of caffeine. Seeing a physical transformation is exciting. But what's even more fulfilling is enjoying a better night's sleep and discovering health as a way of life. Thank you so much for JIRA for sending that to me, I have loved working with you. So as I said, this month, we are talking about the theme of mindset. And this really is a favorite topic of mine because it is so instrumental in everything we accomplish in life. And there are so many books on this subject. But the first one I read about 10 years ago, was the Mindset by Carol Dweck, it was back when I was in the corporate world and working for a boss I didn't enjoy working with, you know, the kind of boss that likes to control everything right down to telling me I had to take vacation time to go to the dentist in 15 minute increments. But at the time, I worked from home 4.5 hours across the country by plane from this person. And yet she felt it necessary to make rules like this, as if she'd really know if I'd even gone to the dentist. And as if it really mattered in the grand scheme of things seeing as how going to the dentist wasn't something I did every day or every week, I literally went once or twice a year. These types of rules though, made me feel undervalued and unappreciated, disrespected. Especially as my previous boss had had a very different approach. He had said, I don't care when you work. As long as when I travel across this country, I hear our hotels speaking highly of you, you know your job, you know, you need to get done, just get it done. If that means you go on a school field trip with your kids one day, and then you're working in the evening to get caught up. That's fine. So with him I felt appreciated, respected, valued as an employee, guess who inspired me to want to give my best effort. So as I was struggling, adjusting to the style of boss number two, my sister recommended that I read the mindset. And that helped me to understand the reason behind why these two people had such different leadership styles. And it all came down to mindset. This understanding allowed me to be in a place of tolerance with Boss number two, and let go of constantly complaining about her to my husband and family who I think they were sick of hearing it from me. And it didn't actually serve me to be always complaining about it. It didn't allow me to move through the frustration. It just kept me stuck there, regurgitating it over and over again. So what I learned from

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that book are that there are two types of mindsets the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. And People with a growth mindset believe there is unlimited knowledge in the world. You can't possibly know it all. And therefore you want to surround yourself with people who are specialists in areas where you have limited knowledge. So you You can learn from them be advised by them. There is no ego here. And it is absolutely acceptable to say to someone, great question, I don't know the answer to that. But let me find out and get back to you. And so this is where in your daily life, you might be seeking out the support of mentors, coaches, teachers, etc, whether you're in an entrepreneurial position in your own business, or if you are an employee, to also be setting up those types of people in your life, within your work environment. Or maybe it's somebody outside of your work that's in the same industry as well, that you can continue to be learning from, but you may also find yourself being that advisor to someone else, just like I'm advising people in regards to their health. But again, I will never profess that I can possibly know everything. I am a big believer in the fact that there's so much in for the information in the world that we can't know it all. But I also surround myself with a whole community of other holistic practitioners whom I can go to, to ask questions of when I need answers for my clients. The fixed mindset person, on the other hand, is trapped in the idea that I have to know everything. And if I don't know something, it makes me look bad. It's a sign of weakness, it means I'm not good enough. Therefore, I cannot admit to not knowing something, I have to make it up or take someone else's work as my own to make me look like I do know everything. And there are of course, different aspects to this definition depending on where you are applying your mindset at work, at school, in sports in relationships. For instance, in sports, the fixed mindset believes that they were born with an athletic gift, they don't need to practice or work hard to improve as they already have been given this gift. And that's as good as it's going to get. Whereas the growth mindset in sport, again, believes in the ability to improve oneself through effort and practice. And then no matter how good you are, there's always room to get better. This is an easy area to give examples, as we all know, famous athletes. So the growth mindset athlete is Michael Jordan. After being cut from his high school basketball team in grade nine. His mom told him while you're just gonna have to practice harder, so you can make the team next year. And so Michael committed to successfully shooting 100 baskets after school every day, and that's 100 consecutive baskets after school every day. And if he got to number 98 and missed, he'd have to start all over again at number one. And that constant practice is how he improved, improved improved and of course, we know the rest of the story as to who Michael Jordan turned out to be the fixed mindset athlete is John McEnroe, famous for his on court temper tantrums. When the game wasn't going his way. He didn't ask himself, What can I do to improve my game today. He instead blamed the court surface blamed the umpire blamed the weather blamed the opponent, it was always somebody else's fault, because he had a gift, so it couldn't be him. So back to my two bosses. As I'm sure you've gathered, boss, number two had a fixed mindset. And boss number one had a growth mindset. he surrounded himself with advisers of which I was one. And when he needed an answer to something about my Asian markets, he'd come to me and we discuss it. Together we create strategies, budgets, marketing plans, and while we didn't always agree, we always respected each other's ideas and reasonings. And I really enjoyed working for him and with him. Boss number two, on the other hand, had a chip on both shoulders was promoted more quickly than she was actually comfortable with. So she had to hide all the insecurities of not feeling ready for this big job. So her fixed mindset dictated that she had to cover up the fact she didn't know all the answers by making up answers making decisions about my markets without including me, despite having no knowledge about the Asian markets and causing problems in the long run as her decisions weren't factoring in the cultural nuances and the history of how we worked with these markets that were needed. Have you worked for both

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types of bosses yourself? Which type of mindset Do you have? It's interesting is we can have different mindsets and different aspects of our lives without knowing it. Although now that you are aware of these types of mindsets, you can consciously choose to step into a growth mindset in all areas of your life. And when you do that, trust me you will achieve so Much more. As you shift your growth mindset, you are going to want to dig into this topic even further. I'm sure I know I have. And so you might like to read secrets of a Millionaire Mind by Harv Eker. And thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. These are both books connecting mindset and the ability to become wealthy. Mindset is key in this process because as with anything, you first have to believe you can become wealthy, before you will actually become wealthy. It is the same with your health. If you have health issues and do not believe you can heal, guess what you won't. Or if you do manage to heal when you don't think you can, it will have taken a lot longer than it needed to with more suffering than was necessary. And so this is why I'm a big believer in getting second opinions when it comes to your health. If the practitioner you're working with doesn't believe you can heal but simply gives you a drug to mask symptoms. Seek out another practitioner who does believe you can heal. Even if you can't quite believe it yourself yet, because you've been told by multiple people that you can't heal. Borrow that practitioners belief. And that is enough for you to take action and then follow that protocol. And as you start to heal as you start to feel better, you will build your own belief around your ability to heal as you're experiencing it firsthand. Hope is there for one of our greatest healers, when we have hope we can heal. When there is still something that hasn't been tried yet there is hope. Where there are lab tests that give us clues to imbalances and toxicities in our body, there is hope, as they provide clear steps that we need to take to rebalance. rebalance the body so the body can heal itself. So don't give up. The only failure is choosing to quit. Everything else is data and learning. And as we keep moving forward, whether in our health, business or life in general, we continue to learn when we are in that growth mindset. So when I had boss number two, I didn't quit, I refused to quit, I figured I'd been around longer than she had empowered with my mindset knowledge, I was able to instead accept that she wasn't going to change. But I could change how I responded to her. I get stopped feeling angry, disrespected, undervalued and unappreciated. And instead realize this was all about her, not me, I could simply continue doing the best job I could for the benefit of my clients and the hotels and know that one day one of us would go, and if it were going to be me that had to leave, I'd leave with a compensation package for my years of service and not just simply quit. And that is what the universe granted me two years later, when I was let go. Looking back, it truly was a gift as it has allowed me to discover and then step into my purpose. As I have continued my personal growth journey to discover who I am truly meant to be. Along the way, I discovered some powerful quotes. And one of my favorites is whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right. by Henry Ford. It really is as simple as that. If you think you can do it, you're gonna get there. If you think you can't, you're not gonna get anywhere. I also love a quote by Wayne Dyer. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And here's an example of that. Think about the word fear, F E A R. How do you look at the word fear? Do you look at it to mean forget everything and run or face everything and rise? You see you can change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

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What messages do you have looping through your mind day in and day out impacting your ability to take action and move forward? Your mind is so much more powerful than you give it credit for. And in Episode 88. I'm going to come back and talk about exactly that and how your inner world creates your outer world and how you can tap into that power. Join me next week first though, when I have my business coach calling Biggs on the show because being an entrepreneur and working by myself leaves me open to my own mind talking me down telling me I'm not good enough. And so I choose to surround myself by coaches and mentors that helped me nip that in the bud so it can't take hold. We can't do it on our own. We need the support of others to lift us up in all areas of our life. So thank you for listening. Feel free to share this episode with anybody that you think that can benefit from it. And I look forward to having you come back and join us again.